Suicide unfortunately is part of our lives.  In the news, television shows and people in our community. I am deeply saddened by not just the latest headlines, but for a few who have approached me having had family members who have killed themselves.

I have a hard time acknowledging I can see spirits, but when someone is suffering, I do have a desire to reach deep into my soul to see if I can give someone closure.  But I can’t make up anything in order to do so.

I have seen random loved ones related to complete strangers and have given them information to validate what I am seeing is real.  But I have no way of knowing when and how it will happen. I am a neophyte when it comes to this clairvoyant thing and even though I have I predicted many things, I cannot predict who will come my way.

When someone would ask me if I saw their son, daughter or best friend who had committed suicide, I would try to connect with them.  I tried to focus on their energy, visualize what their person looked like before they showed me a photo. Nothing worked.

Now just so you know where I stand. I do NOT believe when someone commits suicide, they are not with G-d or in Heaven.  I do not believe your soul will be condemned to Hell for doing so. And when one is depressed, ending their life, why should that disease be treated any differently than another one? (My own personal opinion, you do not have to agree with me).

I do, however, believe in a type of purgatory, an unrest if you will. And here is why.

I believe every soul is deserving of a restful forever place, which is why I cannot see these souls.

These souls are not at rest. They are burdened by one thing, forgiveness.

Every single person had the same energy when asking if I saw their loved one.  I felt it.  It was stronger than grief.  It was the need to understand. A need to have closure. A need to come to terms in their own way with how it happened.  Many understood their family/friend had depression issues and it wasn’t their first attempt at suicide. They, of course, had their anger and their perspective on what they felt was a selfish act. They had intellectualized it all.  What they didn’t count on was the energy surrounding them and the need to connect.

When they found someone who might be able to be a conduit for that connection, they didn’t hesitate to ask.  When I failed, I felt a wave of disappointment and pain unlike any of the grief I had felt from others.

What my intuition finally told me after the fifth time this happened, was those individuals needed to reach down deep in their soul to ultimately forgive the ones they lost.  The first vision of their loved ones wasn’t mine to see.  It wasn’t my gift to bestow upon them. It was theirs to open up when they were ready.

Those who had passed felt disappointment, pain and anger (from the ones who cared about them), due to their actions. How could anyone forgive? How could anyone just love who they were and not be angry for what became of them? Was it even possible?

Me telling them this after seeing their loved ones would be in essence a “short cut” to connect on a deeper level, to THEIR OWN SOUL.  These feelings they are living with, even when their logical side tells them it is a waste of energy, only get compartmentalized, but they are still there.Forgiving themselves for what they could have done differently will ultimately lead to a deeper, spiritual level of forgiveness to those no longer with them.   I cannot take that away for them. The work needs to come from them. Then the gift of first contact is for them to receive.

Forgiveness is the key and love is the way to open the door. Once you can speak out loud to those souls, from deep within your own soul, forgiving them, you can be sure that door will open up and the connection will happen.

I have only spoken to one person a year after my encounter with them when I could not see their son. Happily, she told me, he came to her in a dream. When she ultimately forgave him. And her life is moving in a forward, more peaceful trajectory. Connected with her son and her own soul.

Maybe forgiveness and love are the ways for not only the ones who have passed to rest in peace, but for all of us alive to bear witness.