I wrote a blog last month where I said “I F*cked Up!”  I talked about how I saw something and how I spoke too soon about it to someone who might not have been ready to hear it.  I felt horrible and tried to apologize, but she went radio silent.

I got advice from friends, my Rabbi and many of you who had read the blog.  I internalized it all and how it went wrong. What could I do in the future to never let it happen again.

I vowed I would quiet down and take a breath, asking if this person needs to hear this NOW. I would sense it and would not say it.

Yup… that is what I’m going to do.

Then something happened a few days  ago. I finally heard from her.

“No, you didn’t offend me, that’s why I’m writing!”  As you go back to read the blog you will understand this next part.

“Yesterday, a (doula) friend of mine (in our group) had a niece who had an Amniotic Fluid Embolism.”  What are the odds of that happening?  (Someone who had an AFE having a visions of someone she never met, experiencing anything remotely close to an AFE, let alone an actual AFE).  But I knew the odds of what came next.

 “She died.”

She then added, “I am letting her (family) know how to get in touch with you, but I shared your book and info today with the whole group, since we’re discussing AFE.”

I was stunned.

I had seen she would be a part of a catastrophic childbirth very soon. It did happen within three weeks of us speaking, but I was off the mark.  I saw she would be a part of it, but I interpreted the vision as she would be in the room when it happened.

She jumped into action and relayed the information about the AFE Foundation’s crisis line  and how our conversation had a direct-affect in helping this family through their immediate tragedy.

Would the same information be passed to this family had I not f*cked up?

We have no real way of knowing.  But what I do know, is when this  beautiful soul was giving birth to her ninth child, she and her family never expected the worst. And by happenstance, my connection to a stranger helped facilitate information at a faster rate.

I don’t know if I will master the SENSE something and NOT SAY something as it goes against every grain in my soul.  I do appreciate the advice and I do not take it lightly.  But I am who I am, faults, unfiltered and all.   I also know now, I am glad I spoke up to this woman when I did.

It won’t be the last time I stick my foot in my mouth and screw up.  I am wading in unchartered waters trying to navigate as best I can with the information coming to me at light speed.

This is part of my journey, to admit the wrongs, the mishaps and the f*ck ups.

At the end of the day, we are trying to help each other with our light.  I never want to shine it on someone who is not ready to receive it or give misinformations to others who are intently listening and be wrong.

So I will continue to crawl before I walk and appreciate all of the positive light you have shown me.  YOU are helping me to understand we are all connected to each other and when our hearts are in the right place, we can help change lives. #nocoincidences

 

Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE to my website in order to get the weekly EXCLUSIVE MINDFUL MONDAYS email. You won’t want to miss next week’s communication where I talk about a Facebook follower’s vision of her cousin’s murder changed her life and my perspective on these visions.

And on MARCH 18, 2018, join the conversation. I will be hosting a FACEBOOK LIVE: SOUL TO SOUL Connection. I will start by telling you a story of how I felt I was having a heart attack but knew it wasn’t mine.  Get your questions in at my FB inbox, follow me to get notification when we are LIVE and I will see you 3-18-18 at 8pm CENTRAL!