Here’s the situation: a woman finished reading my book and responded by saying it wasn’t a coincidence she read the book at the time she read it, as she made it home in time to visit a dying relative.
She then proceeded to tell me she had gone away because she just miscarried. I got hit with something extremely painful. I blurted out “She wasn’t supposed to be yours.” It was curt and not meant to be cold at all, but you know how writing sometimes does not convey your true feelings? Well, in this instance, no truer words were ever written.
She said “Maybe not in this world, but she was definitely meant for me and will always be mine.”
Wait.. no.. I didn’t mean it like that, but I hear how she took it.
I am an asshole.
She told me how lucky she has been to not have too many traumatic births in her work as a doula. That’s when what I saw made perfect sense.
I made another huge mistake. The idiot that I am, continued…
I said “I know she is with you and part of you. I know you will look at this pain and understand exactly why it happened. Listen to your patients, something is percolating.”
I saw too much and shared too much, too soon. She was not ready. I apologized, but the damage was done.
I am working on seeing and not saying. I want to share what I see immediately to make people instantly feel better, but nothing about trauma can be instantly repaired.
She did add “I will listen. I’ve always been good at listening, but we can always do better right?” She heard the message, but I believe I scared her and she didn’t need to hear this right now, or maybe she did.
I have no sense of time in my visions, but knowing how to release the information in just the right head/soul space is something I MUST learn.
So I’ll #STFU for the rest of the day. I don’t like making any mistakes, especially when it comes to other people’s pain. My heart and soul were in the right place, but other souls need to be in the same space to accept it. I violated that energetic rule. And I am forever apologetic.
I know many of us mess up, in my best soulful place, I offer this to you. Please try and forgive yourself. Know the intentions were in the right place and learn from your mistakes. Don’t punish yourself indefinitely.
So do your soul a favor and forgive it. Hopefully, as in this example, the receiver will realize you came from a good place.
I continue to embrace this world with all of my faults and f*ck ups. Today’s lesson has been learned.