What you want IS ATTAINABLE. You can manifest it. You can control it. YOU decide who to let in and who to kick out. But you cannot just get it because you want it. To quote Brittney Spears, you’ve got to “Work B*tch!” Yup, just quoted B.S.

And by work, I mean your personal healing from those darn demons and trauma. Those pieces of you which are compartmentalized so deep, they have been forgotten. Unfortunately, your body doesn’t allow for you to forget about them. The cells in the body remember trauma. Purging them to have a clear flow of energy is essential to see the right path in front of you. Without that work, you will repeat the same lessons over and over again until they are learned.

2019 is the year about YOU. In numerology, 2019 is the 3 year Life Cycle. “After a year in which other people’s needs eclipsed your own, it is your turn now. The 3 Year is a time when you must constantly ask yourself: “What do I want?”

I have been a big fan of numerology. Numerology is the “belief in the mystical relationship between numbers and coinciding events“. Since I do not believe in coincidences, I see numbers as signs. Equations adding up to life’s moments. And just like planetary movements can affect your behavior, so too can life cycles. I flatlined for 37 Seconds. An odd number for sure, but I didn’t see any meaning of the number until my Rabbi told me a year later that “37” is the numerical value for the Hebrew letters on every tombstone. I got chills.

Now I see 37 everywhere as a reminder to the close call and how it helps me pay attention to whatever is around me at that moment when the number pops up. I count it as my lucky number.

18 is another number. In Judaism, 18 is the numerical value of Chai. Representing LIFE. It was the number on my ventilator keeping me alive and also my father’s ICU room number. It was always in the cards we would survive. How well was up to us.

I have many more examples about numbers and how they show up when you are asking for a sign. Which brings me to what year 2019 adds up to in our yearly “Life Cycle”.

Christine DeLorey wrote a book in 2000 I had enjoyed called LIFECYCLES: Your Emotional Journey To Freedom and Happiness. I cannot tell you the book is 100% accurate on the daily chart, but when reading the broad strokes of the yearly and monthly cycles, I found she was spot on. • She discusses the cyclical way the energy of the world shifts daily and what one can expect with their own emotional, mental, spiritual and physical cycle.

In reading about the upcoming cycle, many of my friends told me this is exactly where they are, so maybe it will pertain to you too.

“In the 3 Year, the past becomes the present you have created – and the present becomes the creative springboard from which to build your future”. You have everything you need to get through this fire. It is stored deep inside of you. You just need to be brave enough to unlock it and then release it“. DELOREY

YOU HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED THE PAST. HOW LONG DO YOU WANT TO STAY THERE?

You already know what that feels like. The predictability might be a safe bet for some, but no longer for you. The unexpected is scary. Releasing the deepest part of your traumas is painful. But as the saying goes, “No PAIN no GAIN!” It won’t be as painful as it was when it happened. It only has power because you have buried it and are afraid of getting close to it again. It might be deep, and yet, always under the surface if the right trigger hits it.

“Remember that courage is not the absence of fear. If you are not afraid then courage has nothing to do with it. Courage is the acceptance of fear and the belief that you can deal with, or get through, whatever is causing it“. DELOREY

With every Yin, there is a Yang. Just because the 3 life cycle represents LIGHT AND LOVE, doesn’t mean you won’t destroy it because you are caught up in the darkness. YOU HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN SH!T. You have to work on YOU, as no one else can.

How do you expect to find the love of your life if you are not whole? It is no wonder many relationships fail due to the fact the person never got to know all of you. Warts and all. If you take an honest look in the mirror, would you say this is more about how you don’t deserve the love of your life. But here’s the thing, YOU DO!!!!! Clear the path for them to arrive and be whole, like you will be soon.

How do you expect to help others when you haven’t healed yourself? I see many self-help and spiritual “lightworkers” who have fallen hard. Why? Because keeping up appearances is more important than doing the work. It all goes back to the same thing. You need to do YOU first. The rest will follow. Including your social media audience.

I can’t tell you how many fires I have gone through after thinking I have done all my work and was ready to progress. Then I became stagnant. Nothing progressed, even though I did a ton of work. Then something triggered my self-worth and I realized, I have deeper work to do. Sometimes it was just easier to get distracted than take care of my soul.

I started to take 10 minutes out of my day and meditate again. For 3 days straight.

I remembered why I survived in the first place. And why I deserved to be in the position I am in. Guilt took over and my wounded ego would not allow me to see the next phase on this journey. I had to go back farther in my past and allow myself to be valued through my eyes, not through other’s.

You might think there is so much suffering in the world, “I don’t have the right to complain.” I did the SAME THING. You would be 100% wrong. It is all relative and your pain isn’t less of value than others because you feel you haven’t suffered as much as they have. This is your wounded ego talking and using guilt to tell you, “I don’t deserve to be happy”. If you remove the guilt, could you move forward? Try it as an exercise.

Think first what you want to do at the crossroad. Then what would happen if you do? Then go the other way. How does it FEEL. Now do it again and remove GUILT from the equation.

(I don’t want to leave my family. They will think I am a bad person. How could I do this when he/she has sacrificed so much to get us to this point?) Really process it in your body. What triggers does the decision hit?

THAT IS THE STARTING POINT OF YOUR HEALING PROCESS!

Year 3 is about doing just that. Removing the guilt, bad friendships, pain, and inner child wounds. It is about healing and finally getting what your soul deserves.

Isn’t it about time you do what feels good for you and your soul?

So what are your New Year’s Resolutions which feed your soul?

2019. New Year. Re-NEWed YOU.

Have a HAPPY and HEALTHY New Year. For the entire year 3. Your new lucky number. Mine too.

Stephanie