Yes. I died. But I also lived to tell about it. So I never ask the question I hear from many others, “Why did this happen to me?”

The real questions for me are: “What lessons did I need to learn by having this experience and will any of the information help others?”

 

I was on a panel at this year’s International Association for Near Death Studies conference.  I met some people who have had their own #NDEs and I met others who were curious, but were not “experiencers.”

 

Experiencers came in from all backgrounds. MD’s to nurses, holistic healers to teachers and many others.  And even though their situations were different from mine, it didn’t make their missions in life any less profound than mine.  Each one of us was hit with a catastrophic emergency which left  us “clinically dead,” or close to it.  Some have been lost trying to figure out what the path is they should take because everyone tells them what miracles they are.  For many, it seems too daunting a task to ask them “why were they saved?”

 

Immediately after my amniotic fluid embolism, I needed my own answers.  Not just about my premonitions, but what was I supposed to do with the information if I ever got closure.

I got therapy (and still go), to understand traumatic stress disorders and how to get back to “normal.” I learned how to deal with the fact I have lost my ability to bear children.  I did regression therapy to comprehend the “extra sensory perception” I had (and still have).  And I spoke with every scientist who would talk to me to validate what I had felt all along.  Once I had my answers, I needed to share it with others.

I saw an uneasiness about myself through these new eyes.  Especially when people would come up to tell me what a miracle I was. I got through a lot of my insecurities when 37 Seconds came out.  I thought the book was a perfect way to express my deepest, vulnerable place and put everything to bed.  Close that chapter and move on.

What I didn’t count on, was how one story would change so many lives.  And how our story would end up being the catalyst for so much healing. And not just for myself.

Every one of us has a story to tell.  And like I said at the conference, if by telling your story helps one person, then you have already found one reason why you survived, not why you died. A change of perspective can change the way you feel.

I know it has been four years, but every six months, at my many checkups, I am reminded of what a close call it was and how I didn’t get out of it unscathed.  Again, I never cried because I flatlined, only because of how it changed everything I knew.  But…

Change is GOOD!

Changing the way you feel, can shed light on that dark place and help guide others on a brighter path you wouldn’t have had, without your experience. How miraculous is that?!