Happy Birthday to my now 4 year old son, Jacob. It has been a long road to recovery, but time is flying by so fast at this point, it really doesn’t seem that long.
I think about all the birthdays I would have missed. How many “boo-boo’s” I wouldn’t have kissed. How many goodnight kisses or bedtime stories I would not have experienced. All because I was unlucky to have not survived.
It might seem trivial, to think about all of those little moments, but to me and my family, they are everything. The good morning crawl up into our bed to cuddle before we have breakfast. The artwork they bring home to show off their “skills” and yes, even the bickering between brothers and sisters. I love all of it. Except for the time they turned the key on the gas fireplace and we came back to the fire department evacuating our home. That experience I could have done without. But for the most part, I am grateful for every single second I am here to enjoy it.
Many ask if it is difficult to talk about our story over and over again. I say, ABSOLUTELY NOT! I see what it is doing to #help people, and I also admit, I see what it is doing for me and my family.
Life throws us many challenges. Whatever yours might be, the fact you are alive to witness them, is not something you should discount.
My father has been in the hospital for a few weeks now, and at one point, he was in the #ICU. I was acutely aware, 4 years earlier, I was in the ICU fighting for my life. Unable to walk, talk or breathe on my own. There was a woman on life support next door to my father. Her husband had his face in his hands, crying. I thought about the pain my husband was in years ago. I thought about the uncertain times this man has ahead of him. And I knew, by the looks of it, it was going to be a long road to recovery, if she comes out of it.
My husband knows this all too well. And he chose to believe there was no other option but for us to get through this, no matter how bad the situation could be. He was not thinking how this could have happened, only that it did and what he needed to do to move forward.
Life throws us so many challenges. Whatever yours might be, the fact you are alive to witness them, is an important bottom line.
Death and suffering are an unfortunate a part of #life. You might not be able to walk right now, so you need to sit and watch what’s happening. Others without your perspective, can’t sit still because they are too busy running around, trying to keep their heads on straight. You might not be able to see, but your intuition is at an all time high and you can feel what the right decision is for you. Whereas others might rely on opinions. You might be dealing with a serious illness, which makes your work decisions insignificant. You are able to make quick choices without belaboring the point in order to focus on what truly matters most. Those without your viewpoint will not be able to release the same stress.
Look for the positive in your not-so positive experience, because there is a valuable lesson here. Focusing on the “why did this happen to me,” will only detract from the positive energy inevitably coming, as a result of your situation. It is how I have chosen to deal with my recovery. It might not work for everyone, but it has worked for me.
I am acutely aware, this time, I WALKED out of the ICU. Saddened by the fact my father could not. But with sheer determination, strong will and a little perspective, he will. He has no choice, because he knows missing all of those little moments with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren is not an option. My recovery has taught me a lot about why some people recuperate faster than others and why changing perspective can help those slower on the upswing, pick up the pace. Sometimes, not having an option, is a very good thing.
EVERY ONE OF US is a survivor of some sort of trauma.
I am a survivor, but more importantly. I am Jacob’s mother. And today, I am only his mother. Happy to celebrate his life, enjoying the little moments, feeling blessed by being around to talk to all of you.
How have you overcome your personal traumas? Taking your negatives and turing them into positives. I would love to hear about it.